5/19/2017 - Thanks for the Mammaries

Attending: Cash, (Sorry) Charlie (Cash's son-in-law), Dreadlock Fetus, Frank, Levy, Pastor, SAM (self-appointed mentee - Mike), Scribe, Silent Bob, Tango, Tom, Whitey

Upon Scribe arriving late from an interview, Tom realized he was late for a beating from his wife and left in a trail of smoke and fire that melted the Velcro on his shoes. It would be funny if he actually had Velcro on his shoes because Scribe is not nearly observant enough to know.

Watch this!

Scribe's half-hour absence was ample time for Pastor to have a life revelation--more money is better than less.

Then DF arrived and immediately took the table on a trip down mammary lane, showing us a timeline of his female conquests on his phone. Pastor looked at the phone and said, "It's not working!" Several table members started fishing through their pockets for blue pills. Thankfully, he was referring to the screen, which is fine because Cash doesn't like it when people play with their instruments in public, anyway. Many of DF's exhibits had ample phone sex appeal.

Speaking of pills, it may be shocking to know that DF buys them in $55-dollar lots to get laid ... by the Herbalife chick. Sounds like he's going to need us to take up a collection soon. 

DF introduced everyone to a new position he uses on his business/pleasure meetings/dates called the 401k rollover.

Here is a lecture by a Nepalese professor on behalf of Whitey explaining the versatility of the word fuck.

And the Table 14 mantra of the week (courtesy of Cash's persistence) is "Drinking iced tea at our table is like":

• Bringing pennies to a poker game.
• Bringing a Yugo to a drag race.
• Bringing a wiffle bat to the World Series.
• Bringing high heels to a 100m sprint, or
• Peeing on a forest fire.